Are you a speeding ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
Are your parents terrorists (No, why?) because you’re the Bomb…
You must be in a wrong place - the Miss Universe contest is in another counrty this year.
Are your parents drug dealers (No why?) because you’re Dope…
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but Im as sweet as can be.
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is....
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say... "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.
You've been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room.
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Be unique and different, say yes.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification.
You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

(Give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
My buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.
I want to kiss you passionately on the lips then move straight up to your belly-button.
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).
Ask a person for the time) 9:15? So today is May 1, 2009, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!
Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked!
You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happens once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
You are the reason men fall in love.

Did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
This is a test of the emergency pickup line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pickup line.
I wanna bag you like some groceries.
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
I'm easy. Are you?
When she's leaving:"Hey, where are you going?" Answer:"home." You:"You're not just gonna leave me here like this are you?"
Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen
Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!
Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
[Point at her ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
You're hotter than donut grease.
Hi. Are you legal?
See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!
Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
If we shared a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)

Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?
I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true
Are you a magnet cuz im attracted to you
I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.
Baby your like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my
problems
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here.
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!
Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
Is that top felt? [No] Would you like it to be?
Is your last name Gillete cause your the best a man can get.
You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
Your body is a wonderland and i want to be Alice.
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.
I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'!
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity.
Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
Like the sheets on your bed I want cover you with love.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
I can tell your future, it is you giving me your number.
I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you.
You look so sweet your givin me a toothache.
My love for you is like the universe...neverending!!
If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
You - "Did it hurt". The other person will naturally say "Did what hurt?", You - "When you fell from heaven."
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
The night is young, the moon is bright, and you are here with me tonight
Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
Do you spit or swallow?
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
Hi. You'll do.
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I'd look good on you.
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
I've got a condom with your name on it.
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Lie down. I think I love you.
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
What do you like for breakfast?
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
You should be someone's wife.
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
Wow! Are those real?
I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Just where do those legs of yours end?
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.
Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle.
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
How was heaven when you left it?
I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.
Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
(As she is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? (What?) Me!
Somebody better call God, cuz heaven's missing an angel!
Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together.
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.
Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
When God made you, he was showing off.
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle
I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
Stare at girl . ("What're you staring at?") You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.
Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
If you were a steak you would be well done.
It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
This time next year let’s be laughing together.
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
I sneezed because God blessed me with you.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
Wow! Are those real?
You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.
You should be someone's wife.
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
You are a 9 - you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
You're so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.
I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
Hey baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.
I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
You’re so hot when i look at you I get a tan
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became beautiful
Did you fart? Because you blew me away
You must be in a wrong place - the Miss Universe contest is over there.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
"Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?"
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
I know I dont have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.
Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
POOF! (What are u doing?) I'm here, where are your other two wishes?
Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down .
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.
You look life my first wife! (how many have you had?) none.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say... "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.
Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.
I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be.
You've been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room.
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is....
Your so hot when i look at you I get a tan
You say "I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips." She says, "Bet's on." You kiss her then say, "I lost."
You got something on your chest: my eyes
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Do you want to make millions? millions of babies!
Kiss me if I am wrong, but isn't your name (take a guess)...Janice????
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
Hi. Are you cute?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
So....How am I doin'?
Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?
Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
Does your boyfriend know where you are?
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
All this could be yours for one low, low price!
I'm friendly and slow moving!
Other] And your name is....? [You] My name is INCREDIBLE. But you can call me Laura.
Here is $11. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.
Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
Can I flirt with you?
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I wonder what our children will look like.
I would kill or die to make love with you.
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Will you marry me for just one night?
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
You smell wet. Let's Party.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Be unique and different, say yes.
Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happens once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?
Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didn't hear you say "happily".
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked!
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
(Ask a person for the time) 9:15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.
Pinch me. [Why?] You're so fine I must be dreaming.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).
Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
You are the reason men fall in love.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
My buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
Here's the key to my house, my car... and my heart.
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...

I want to kiss you passionately on the lips then move straight up to your belly-button.
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
Fancy a fuck?
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Your face or MINE!?
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
Do you cum here often or wait till you get home?
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.
Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.
[Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hi, wanna fuck? [No] Mind lying down while I do?
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
My name's [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long!
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.
Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my dick, it's a gem.
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
If I washed my dick, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
Nice fucking weather. Want to?
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
What do you like for breakfast?
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
Let us let only latex stand between our love.
Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
(Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!
Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
I'm easy. Are you?
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?
I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just fuck.
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
(give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Can I see your tan lines?
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)